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Example of Jewelry Website Copy Re-Writing

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Today we'd like to provide a sample of how to correctly rewrite website copy to target local search results. We'll show you the before and after of the copy re-writing in hopes you will understand how to do it yourself.

This is what we're starting with:

Perosi Jewelers opened in June, 1995 and is a full-service jeweler. Perosi Jewelers offers fine 14K, 18K & Platinum Bridal Jewelry; diamond fashion jewelry; loose diamonds; colored-stone fashion jewelry; 14k and 18k fine gold jewelry. Our store's founder, Louis Perosi, Sr., had 20 years experience in the jewelry industry before opening his own store with his wife. Mr. Perosi's education and training began under a master jeweler and continued for five years. Mr. Perosi then managed his own store in Delaware for a period of seven years before relocating to New Jersey. Once there, he managed a high-profile retail jewelry store for a large retail jewelry chain in New York City before venturing out with his wife to open Perosi Jewelers in Little Falls, New Jersey.

General comments regarding the above example:

1. We need to somehow mention a few more towns and local landmarks. Little Falls is the name of the town that Perosi Jewelers is located, but we need more.

2. The background and history of the store owner is good, but mentioning "Delaware" might confuse Google since Delaware, New York, and New Jersey are all mentioned in that passage.

3. The itemized list of jewelry at the beginning is nothing more than keyword stuffing and it needs to me cleaned up.

4. "Bridal Jewelry" needs to be removed or replaced with the phrase "Wedding Jewelry."


Here's how we would re-write and embellish it:

Even though Perosi Jewelers first opened June 1995 and is a full service jeweler serving Passaic County and Essex County, New Jersey, the owners and staff here have built up a rapport with many customers in and around Northern New Jersey and New York City area. Our original store location was located on Watchung Ave in Montclair, NJ, then in 2005 we moved from that small jewelry store location to a larger shop at 44 Main Street in Little Falls, NJ. We're happy to be part of the Passaic Valley community.

The Diamond District in New York City is a short drive away for anyone in the area. We know you have many choices for jewelers and jewelry stores in New York, and we proudly rival any shop in the city with our selection of wedding jewelry and colored gemstones jewelry settings at the best jewelry prices in the Totowa, NJ area.

Our store's founder, Louis Perosi, Sr., had more than 20 years experience in the jewelry industry. His education and training began under a master jeweler and continued for five years. Mr. Perosi then managed his own store for a period of seven years before re-locating to Passaic County area. Once here, he managed a high profile retail jewelry store in NYC for a large retail jewelry chain before venturing out with his wife to open the independently owned Perosi Jewelers.

Mr. Perosi developed a reputation as a quality professional jeweler while managing that retail jewelry store. The same customers who used to drive out of their way from Wayne Township and the Borough of Haledon to visit Mr. Perosi in New York now shop with confidence at the Perosi Jewelers jewelry store in Little Falls.
(end)

As you can see we exploded the original 126 words to 286 words. With a little thinking we were able to tell a short story about the founder of the jewelry store, his experiences, and we targeted 17 different variations of local town, city, county, and state names.

The rewrite also avoided simply listing town names and jewelry types. The entire thing follows Google's quality content guidelines without turning into webspam. Hopefully this helps with your own website copy rewriting.
AT: 05/03/2012 11:26:10 PM   LINK TO THIS GOLD NUGGET
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